Hard days…

I was out in the world yesterday. Truth be told, I limit my “out in the world” time. I’m an introvert by nature, but also a person who feels the energy of a room pretty intensely. This is why at parties I gravitate to quiet subgroups and pets. I’ve met a lot of great pets at parties, by the way. I’ve learned how to separate what I’m feeling from what the people around me are feeling most of the time. But yesterday! Yesterday was January 3rd… Two days into our resolutions and the first day back to work and school for most of the free world. There were some real $h!t feelings yesterday. Everywhere I went, I felt pissed off, a little sick and just discouraged. I kept asking myself “What the hell is wrong with you?” …”You’re having a good day” I said to myself. But in the grocery, at the salon… Gah!   It took a long time for me to realize that it wasn’t just me that was worried about the promises I made to myself. We’re all feeling it.

In this next paragraph, I feel like I need to give you a solution.

I wrote what I would want to hear. It read like a million other blog posts I’ve read in the early days of January over the years.

I deleted it.

I’m going to ask you to help me write it. I want to know what you’re feeling. What are you struggling with? What are your fears? What are your successes?

How do you handle having a really hard day?

Here’s a chance to be a powerful truth teller. And to support someone who puts their heart out there. In this, lies the solution.

 

6 thoughts on “Hard days…”

  1. Funny you would mention this. I was just thinking as I popped a cookie into my mouth yesterday……hey, wait a minute…..I was going to stop eating cookies as of Jan 1st….and this is Jan 3rd. Yep….already feeling the “failure funk”. And, then, I remembered a dear friend that told me that she wished I would see myself as other people around me see me. Well…..I can’t really see how other people see me…..but I can turn it around and say, “would I condemn my friend if she ate a cookie when she had told herself she wouldn’t???” No….of course I wouldn’t. So, then I guess I should be a friend to myself and give myself a little slack too. That is exactly what I did……and it was fabulous……because instead of beating myself up and needing to eat another cookie to get over the self-beating, I was fine with that one cookie. Now, if I will just stop buying stuff…..like cookies! (baby steps)!

    1. Ah, success! You bring up such a great point… that second cookie to recover from that “failure” you were feeling. I have done that forever; clear back to grade school. I hope that this year, I can be brave enough to look at the reasons I depend on cookies and cake for comfort.
      Thanks for breaking the silence after I asked the question. It was getting pretty quiet in here. <3 And thanks for being brave enough to admit the cookie.

  2. I’ve been too busy recuperating from the busyness of the holidays and nursing an awful cold for the past week to lift my head up and feel that funk you speak of, Day. But even through all that yuck, I could still catch glimpses of the freshness, that spark of excitement a new year brings. They’d rise up, and then recede back into the muck.

    After reading this blog post, I began to wonder (you always get me wonder, Day), could the crappy way I’m feeling now (the cold, the overwhelming fatigue) represent the clogged-up, over-loaded, over-whelmed, over-everythinged of those around me, near and far? In asking that question (even though I’m not at all close to wellness yet), a weight lifted off my shoulders, and those feelings of freshness, of excitement pushed they’re way up. I could feel them fighting their way through a crowd of surly people, to finally stand with all their glory and anticipation before me. Oh, my, but they are beautiful!

    You always make me question, Day. And I thank you.

    1. Thank you, Tanya for your validating words. It must add a level of difficulty being sick at this time of year…when the emphasis is to move forward, change, grow…and so on. It takes a bit of courage to let yourself be in the moment and heal. As always, I learn something from your experience of life.

  3. I actually appreciate that you didn’t give me/us a solution. Right now, I am struggling with the plethora of solutions and opinions that seem to be out there. Everywhere you turn, there is someone else with a solution or suggestion for making a person better. And, I think the people that could probably stand to hear those suggestions, never do, because they don’t put themselves in a space to hear it. However, those of us who do put ourselves in a space to hear it, to soak it up, who want to be better are being overwhelmed with information on how to improve ourselves. It’s gotten worse over the years and of course with the internet, you can pretty much feel crappy about yourself and how many of the suggestions you’re not pursuing 24 hours per day, but at this time of year? It’s especially bad. And, I think that might be what a lot of us are feeling and reacting to and letting it affect our mood. I feel bad because I know you got hit with a bad vibe at the salon when you came to see me. I have noticed since I moved my practice to the salon that the salon (and also the massage studio, I might add) seem to be “safe” places for folks to bring their gunk. It’s like getting a bit of free emotional therapy with your haircut or massage. As a massage therapist, I don’t mind providing that space, and I’ve learned some techniques that help so that it doesn’t ruin my day. But being in the salon, with all the folks “letting it all out”, it can get intense and I have to be careful to not let it get to me. So, I’m sorry that you got caught up in the eddy of yuck when you came in. Someday, I’ll have a more peaceful space.

    1. I hadn’t considered that… the salon or massage studio being like going to the therapist’s office, but I can totally see that! I felt 100% better by the time we were half way through my massage, so you have nothing to feel bad about at all… besides, it gave me perspective for a blog post. 🙂
      Thanks for your insights. I hope you spend some time here, telling bits of your story. I think you have good stuff to say.

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