“Sacred Space”?

  (Photo credit Bob Huff)

One of the things that has been a long time struggle for me is the question “What do you do?”

I was a stay at home mom in the Eighties and Nineties; when it was more acceptable for women to have a family and a job. Or even better, a career. We didn’t really have enough money for me to stay home. We also didn’t have enough  money to put two kids in daycare if I worked.

We made the decision over and over ~ not just once and done. I’d cave in to the feeling of worthlessness and get a part time job. After three months of pulling my screaming, crying daughters out from under their beds and taking them to daycare, I’d quit the job and stay home.

When I became a single mom, the inner turmoil continued, there was just no longer any choice. By then, my daughters were in school and if there was crying in the morning, it was about school angst. What a relief.

Being “out in the world” was great for me at this point. It alleviated any lingering doubts I had about being smart enough to do something other than stay at home. I also was relieved to learn I wasn’t lazy. Being a stay at home mom can really mess with one’s head.

When I married a man who travels a lot for his career, it once again made sense for me to stay home and “manage his life”, so he could focus on his actual work and not the nuts and bolts of getting there and getting home.

Aside from trying to explain it, I love what I do. I’ve been doing it in one form or another for thirty-five years; and only last year came up with an answer for the dreaded “What do you do?”

I create Sacred Space.   (Does this make me a “Spacial Engineer”?)

The place my family comes to that feels like home is a sacred space.

This home is clean (ish). There are happy dogs, moody cats, gardens and flowers. There is the energy of love and a feeling of great care being taken.

Family and friends gather here to connect in love and laughter, as well as in times of loss and sadness. It is a safe place; A Sacred Space. 

I wish that all stay at home parents could feel the importance of offering this to their families.

And I wish for the parents who just cannot swing one parent staying home, that the feeling of sacred space can be found when you all gather in your home each night.

Sacred Space is a big idea; larger than the homes we enjoy.

We can create it in so many ways every day…

  When we experience joy. (Photo, Ally Miran)


When we’re inspired by the beauty of nature. (Photo Credit Bob Huff)

   With children and animals. (photo animalfair.com)


   Any time we help someone.

  When we extend love. (Photo credit Jose Tobiasson)


When we take care of our sacred selves.


When we practice empathy. (photo from Uplift Connect)

For me, all of these things are sacred space. We can live it every day. Let’s go out and create a bunch of it.

Thanks to all the people who allowed me to use photos. I’m loving photos these days and plan on using a lot of them here. If you have any that define sacred space for you, please do send them to me.

9 thoughts on ““Sacred Space”?”

  1. Your home (and past homes) definitely are “homey” to those who visit. It is definitely an art to create such space. There is some magic in making a house a welcome place. And, I do believe that creating that space and caring for our things, as well as caring for our children and spouses and pets is one of the most important jobs there is. It is something that is sometimes lost a little bit in people’s hectic lives, or maybe not as important to some as it is to others. But, I believe there is such value in having someone in the family be the “sacred-space-maker”. Being a stay-at-home parent sure isn’t the easy way out, and working outside the home isn’t any picnic either. And let’s face it, women are usually the ones doing the majority of the domestic chores even if they work full time, even in this day and age. Not always, of course, but usually. I do like the thoughts of sacred space including nature, joy and empathy. That broadens the idea and maybe makes it accessible for more people to tap into that sacred space.

    1. Thanks, sister of mine. I think you and I got the gene for making a home from Mom. She was definitely a keeper of Sacred Space, although I don’t know that she would have called it that. I’ve often thought I was born a couple of decades later than I was suited for, but now I’m thinking what a miraculous time to be in this world. Still, sometimes I feel like June Cleaver in the age of Helen Gurley Brown.
      I am with you… there is no easy decision to be made in the face of family, finance, career aspirations. It sets us all up to feel like we’re being cheated out of something no matter which way we go.

  2. This is my head and heart in so many ways… You have an insight that is just a bit miraculous… Thank you for this and I hope you don’t mind if I share…

  3. And can even be found when there’s just one parent, working through absolute necessity, no extended family …and one young child…so very hard emotionally and practically, at times though x

    1. I’ve glimpsed the space you and Jake create together. It is indeed, Sacred. There is love and adoration and a very strong sense of being “in it together”.
      My hat is off to you two. <3

  4. Its like you learn my thoughts! You seem to grasp a lot about this, such as you wrote the guide in it or something.
    I think that you can do with a few % to force the message home a bit, but other
    than that, that is wonderful blog. A great read.
    I’ll certainly be back.

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